巴夏：你为什么吵架？
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问：
Greetings, Bashar!
你好，巴夏！
巴夏：
And to you day
你好！
问：
I was gonna ask you if you could give me a tip on identifying negative beliefs.
你能否跟我分享些 认定负面信念系统的技巧的？
I seem to be having a ...
我似乎在这方面有点困难
巴夏：
All right.
好的！
Well, that's easily done.
这很容易
If you are having, or are aware of the fact that you have a negative belief
如果你有一个负面信念，或者你觉察到你有
Then identifying it simply is the process of acknowledging it
那认定的过程，就是先认可它
And actually amplifying it
接着放大它
And asking the question,
然后问这个问题：
What am I absolutely terrified might happen if I actually became who I prefer to be
如果我真的成为我想成为的人，那发生什么事情，绝对会让我很害怕
What's the answer?
这个答案是什么？
问：
What am I terrified of?
我害怕发生的事情吗？
巴夏：
Yes!
对！
What are you afraid will happen if you allow yourself to move forward in the way that you would prefer to?
如果你朝理想的方向前进，你会害怕发生什么事？
问：
I see, that's why I don't understand.
我懂了！但这就是我不懂的地方
That's why seem to be confused
这就是为什么我很困惑
Because I know all the stuff
这些理论我都知道
巴夏：
No, you don't obviously!
不！很明显你不知道！
You have an intellectual comprehension of it,
你的脑袋可能理解了
But to know something means it's in your behavior,
但你若真的知道了，你就会在行动上表现出来
Knowledge and behavior are synonymous.
“知识”与“行动”是同义词
If I ask you to walk across the room
如果我叫你走过这房间
You wouldn't hesitate, you would just walk
你会毫不犹豫，直接地走过去
Because you know how to do that.
因为你知道怎么做
That's in your behavior.
你也会这么“行动”
That's what you know you are capable of
这也说明，你知道你能做得到
If it's not in your behavior, you don't know it.
如果你没在行动中表现出来，那说明你还不知道
You just have an intellectual comprehension of it
你只是脑袋上理解了而已
问：
OK, how do I instill that?
那我如何才能真正的知道呢？
巴夏：
So let's go back to the idea.
我们回到刚才那个问题
I'll ask the question in a different way.
我现在换个方式问你
Are you acting on your highest excitement every moment that you possibly can,
你在每一个时刻，都尽你最大能力，在最高兴奋上，不断行动
With zero insistence on a particular outcome,
并对某个特定结果“零”执着吗？
Yes or no?
是 还是 不是？
问：
Yes, except when I'm not
是！除了我不是的时候
巴夏：
All right!
好吧！
You don't have to be clever about it.
你还是别耍小聪明哈！
Because obviously
因为，很显然
We wouldn't be having this conversation if the answer was yes all the time,
如果你的答案是“一直都是”，那我们就不会有这次对话
Correct?
对吧？
问：
Right！That's what I'm saying.
对的，我也是我想说的
巴夏：
Therefore, when I asked you if you are doing that
那当我问 你是否都是这么做的时候
You could say, not all the time
你可以回答：并非一直都是
And that's what we're addressing.
而这也是我们要解决的问题
Yes? --- Yes!
是吧？--- 对的!
So can you give us an example of a time when you're not?
你举个例子，什么时候你不会这么做？
问：
When I'm not acting on my highest joy?
什么时候 我不会在我的最高兴奋上行动吗？
When I'm fighting with somebody or have a problem.
当我和某人吵架，或是我有问题的时候
巴夏：
Why are you fighting?
你为什么吵架呢？（打架）
问：
That's the whole thing is I don't even know...
这就是问题所在，我都不知道为何吵架呢
巴夏：
Oh! Come on!
啊! 得了吧！
问：
It seems like I create problems
似乎我不断制造问题
巴夏：
Yes!
对了！
问：
and then later I can't even figure out why...
过后又不知道为什么我会这么做
巴夏：
What are you afraid of will happen?
什么事情，你害怕发生的？
What are you afraid will happen?
你害怕会发生什么事呢？
The moment that you start fighting
你开始吵架那一刻
You're afraid of something
你就在害怕某件事
You're afraid you won't get something that you need.
你害怕你得不到你需要的东西
问：
Losing?
失去？
巴夏：
Losing something? All right.
会失去某个东西？那也行！
Is that the fear?
这就是你所害怕的吗？
问：
Yes, I think so, maybe
是的，我想可能是！
巴夏：
All right.
好的！
So why are you afraid you will lose something?
你为什么会害怕失去什么东西呢？
问：
I don't know
我不知道
巴夏：
Yes, you do!
你知道的！
Of course you do.
你肯定知道
What will happen if, in your mind, something is lost?
如果你失去某个东西后，你觉得会发生什么事？
And can you be more specific about what is your afraid of losing?
你能不能具体说清楚，你害怕失去的是什么？
问：
Well, I was just thinking of having a fight with my girlfriend over the crazy stupid stuff!
这时我想的是 我跟我女朋友 因为一些疯狂而愚蠢的东西而吵架
巴夏：
Yes, but you understand that the reason it's in your words, the craziest stupidest stuff
好！但你要明白，你说是这些“疯狂而愚蠢的东西”
Is because you're still focused on the surface,
说明你只还只是关注在表面现象上
And you get triggered by simple things
你只是被这些小事情触发了
Because there's a deeper issue.
因为你还有着更深层次的问题
There's a deeper fear.
更深层次的恐惧
Many times when people on your planet fight.
通常，当你们地球人吵架时
They're not actually fighting about the things they're fighting about
你们所吵的，并不是因为事情本身
Those are just surface excuses
这些都只是表面上的借口
To let people know that
借口，是让你知道
There is something deeper going on within you that you're afraid to look at,
在你暗流涌动的内心深处，有什么东西 你还不敢面对
But when you are not afraid to look at it and bring it to the surface,
但是，当你勇敢面对，并且把它搬到台面上来
Then you can deal with the real issue.
那你就可以处理真正的问题了
So what's the real issue?
所以，你真正的问题是什么？
What are you really afraid of
你到底是在害怕什么？
When suddenly you feel that you're triggered
当你突然感觉自己被“引爆”了
And that your response has to be that you're fighting
而你的反应，就是吵架
What are you really deeply afraid will happen?
那你内心深处，真正害怕发生的，是什么事？
问：
Honestly, I don't know,
实话实说，我不知道
巴夏：
Yes! Yes!
你知道！你知道！
问：
That's why I'm coming to you
我找你，就是为了这个的
巴夏：
You do! You do!
你肯定知道的！
问：
To get it out of me.
是为了把原因弄清楚
巴夏：
You do, all right.
好的！
Well, we will pull harder if you want us to.
你如果想的话，我们可以把它挖出来
问：
I'm here for... I want solutions...
我来这，就是要找到真正解决方案
巴夏：
I understand. I understand. I understand.
我懂！我懂！我懂！
But it's not so much that you want solutions,
但你真正要的，倒不是解决方案
What you need are processes
你需要的是一个过程
问：
OK!
好！
巴夏：
And again, the idea is you need honest self investigation first and foremost,
首先，你要进行 诚实的自我省察
You have to be willing to dig down deep
你要有愿心，深入挖掘地自己的内在
And not be afraid to be afraid.
不“害怕”地面对“害怕”
That's the first step.
这是第一步
It has to be okay that you're afraid
你要知道，你害怕，是OK的！
You can't gloss it over,
你无法掩盖它
You can't be in denial about it.
你也无法否认它
You may have a negative belief system
你可能有一个负面的信念系统
that actually generates extremely deep fear within you
在你内心非常深的地方，不断制造恐惧
And you have to dig down and find out what this is.
你必须深入挖掘，找出这个信念系统
You can't be afraid to be afraid
但你面对害怕时，不能害怕
You can't be afraid to find it.
你要找到它，就不能害怕
But I will tell you a little secret
但我可以告诉你一个小秘密
问：
OK!
好啊!
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